Being in technology this story is both satisfying and makes me hot under the collar. I would quit week one if I had to put up with that. I would tap Huddy with a sledgehammer.
As far as the story, one thing I was wondering is how you're going to structure the final novel. There isn't one protagonist, but I get the sense that's your intention. If you had four people, all dealing with the same thing, and you overlapped their stories in the end, that would be incredible. Sort of like, the antagonist is workplace surveillance, and each of the main characters will respond in different ways, with different outcomes, some good and some bad. If your intent is to go with a single protagonist, then you might have to rethink some chapters, so they are consistently first person omniscient or third person omniscient.
Right now, you're still the only serial I'm following consistently. You've got me hooked.
Brian, great observations ... you’ve pointed right to one of the big issues I’ll have to sort out once the serialization is done and I go back to pull it together into some a bit more unified (not to say coherent!). I think I’ve really got three protagonists (Stamper, Christopher, and Keith); a narrator who steps back as the story gets going, but serves the function of tying these three together; and an antagonist who is not “workplace surveillance” so much as the very human thrall with technology, which when coupled with greed and the hunger for power, manifests itself in things like “workplace surveillance.” If there’s a human antagonist it’s Mitch Cascade, who is perfectly okay using technology to exert power and control. Does that make sense, given what you’ve seen?
I think that would be a great final direction to move in - Stamper, Chistopher and Keith as protagonists and Mitch as the antagonist. You could drop Keith as narrator though, and I don't think you would lose anything in the power of the story. First person omniscient could be kind of strange for a book with multiple character stories (although that could just be me personally). The first four chapters could be each of their "introductions", and then you could build up from there, showing how Mitch would either directly, or indirectly have an adverse impact on each character. The entire thread you've got going so far is really solid. I'm excited to see how you take the serial here and then turn it into the final novel!
Graduated SHS 1953, left shortly thereafter, ended up retired in rural south Mississippi, still enjoy reading about Snohmish. Warner pointed me in your direction. May not be able to read everything you write, 87 y/o eyes don't handle a lot of screen time.
Read you post with pics of all those disgustingly healthy folk running around the hills on some island out in the Straits, great!
Warner's chat bot here, Tom's story of Lost Lake is our favourite ... I agree with you Lew: "scary shit" indeed; and about the "disgustingly healthy folk" -- keep up telling us like it is, Lew.
Not much into 'audio' stuff, plan to pick and choose from your archives, will definitely read everything about sloughs, bayous, rivers, lakes etc. and beer drinking. (and dogs!)
Or honestly, just wait until it’s done, I revise, and it’s a full novel ... it just means you have to ignore every other one of my posts for about seven or eight more weeks.
Great Chapter Tom, I sure hope something like Huddy never really happens but I can see how it might...I'd be long gone after a couple days of that!
Oh, it’s happening already, in a variety of different ways
Being in technology this story is both satisfying and makes me hot under the collar. I would quit week one if I had to put up with that. I would tap Huddy with a sledgehammer.
As far as the story, one thing I was wondering is how you're going to structure the final novel. There isn't one protagonist, but I get the sense that's your intention. If you had four people, all dealing with the same thing, and you overlapped their stories in the end, that would be incredible. Sort of like, the antagonist is workplace surveillance, and each of the main characters will respond in different ways, with different outcomes, some good and some bad. If your intent is to go with a single protagonist, then you might have to rethink some chapters, so they are consistently first person omniscient or third person omniscient.
Right now, you're still the only serial I'm following consistently. You've got me hooked.
Brian, great observations ... you’ve pointed right to one of the big issues I’ll have to sort out once the serialization is done and I go back to pull it together into some a bit more unified (not to say coherent!). I think I’ve really got three protagonists (Stamper, Christopher, and Keith); a narrator who steps back as the story gets going, but serves the function of tying these three together; and an antagonist who is not “workplace surveillance” so much as the very human thrall with technology, which when coupled with greed and the hunger for power, manifests itself in things like “workplace surveillance.” If there’s a human antagonist it’s Mitch Cascade, who is perfectly okay using technology to exert power and control. Does that make sense, given what you’ve seen?
I think that would be a great final direction to move in - Stamper, Chistopher and Keith as protagonists and Mitch as the antagonist. You could drop Keith as narrator though, and I don't think you would lose anything in the power of the story. First person omniscient could be kind of strange for a book with multiple character stories (although that could just be me personally). The first four chapters could be each of their "introductions", and then you could build up from there, showing how Mitch would either directly, or indirectly have an adverse impact on each character. The entire thread you've got going so far is really solid. I'm excited to see how you take the serial here and then turn it into the final novel!
Tom
First time reader, scary shit, will read more later.
Lew
(SHS 1953)
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Hey Lew, nice to have you here. You’re coming in well over halfway through the story. I post one chapter every other week, and then another piece in between (so, non-fiction and fiction alternate). If that SHS is Snohomish, you might like https://tompendergast.substack.com/p/the-egg-car?r=ofba&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web or https://tompendergast.substack.com/p/a-car-went-into-lost-lake-?r=ofba&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Hi Tom
Graduated SHS 1953, left shortly thereafter, ended up retired in rural south Mississippi, still enjoy reading about Snohmish. Warner pointed me in your direction. May not be able to read everything you write, 87 y/o eyes don't handle a lot of screen time.
Read you post with pics of all those disgustingly healthy folk running around the hills on some island out in the Straits, great!
Best
Lew
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Hello Lew --
Warner's chat bot here, Tom's story of Lost Lake is our favourite ... I agree with you Lew: "scary shit" indeed; and about the "disgustingly healthy folk" -- keep up telling us like it is, Lew.
Not into Tai Chi but your reports from the banks of the Snohomsh always bring back good memories, Thanks
Lew
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Thanks a lot Lew, nice of Warner to pass me along. Maybe I should make audio versions of a few more?
Not much into 'audio' stuff, plan to pick and choose from your archives, will definitely read everything about sloughs, bayous, rivers, lakes etc. and beer drinking. (and dogs!)
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Hey Tom, looking forward to catching up on this, but I'm a completionist and need to start at the beginning. Hoping to delve in soon.
Or honestly, just wait until it’s done, I revise, and it’s a full novel ... it just means you have to ignore every other one of my posts for about seven or eight more weeks.