Nicely done, and how appropriate for this Easter morning. Myth building is a very strong trait for me, so I’m still trying to make better sense of Sapolsky’s obliteration of free will. In any case it appears your personal experiences and family history provide a firm basis for figuring out where you and you sit on the spectrum between Sapolsky’s view and unquestioning acceptance of free will. I wish you well.
I don’t understand why your old family farm was sold in 1903 due to a depression. I’m not aware of one at that time , and of course the Great Depression came after 1929.
So well told, Tom. Thank you for this and your honesty. I have no family history yet share your need to tell my "myth" and to figure out who I really am by writing. I think we all are as you say, "propelled along by choices and drives that I was scarcely conscious of owning,"
"We tell ourselves stories in order to live." That quote by Joan Didion has always resonated with me. But what I didn't realize until this moment is that she was probably saying, like you (or rather, what I believe you're saying), that these stories come in retrospect to explain away our actions. Pre-destined in hindsight. So much easier to build your origin myth around events that have already happened!
I think a large number of people would be shocked at how little free will they actually have. Many (most?) believe they have free will. And many (most?) can prove it by choosing the chocolate ice cream today instead of their usual strawberry, just out of spite. They don't really think that, hey, they're still eating ice cream, so they aren't truly thinking too far "outside of the box".
(For the record, I personally believe that we all have free will, but that we tend to make our choices out of laziness, convenience, and opportunity. If strawberry is my favourite flavour, why wouldn't I choose it? Should I choose pistaschio, even if I'm allergic to nuts, just to prove the universe wrong? Exercising your free will is about as easy as changing your personality or adjusting your lifestyle: theoretically possible, but in practicality, doesn't have a high chance of succeeding often.)
To follow your logic a step further: hearing someone's personal origin myth says more about that person in this moment than it does his or her actual origin. Fitzgerald uses that as a storytelling technique in "The Great Gatsby". Gatsby's war service, "Oxford man" status, and medal from Montenegro illustrate -- and contrast -- the myth he wants everyone to believe (including himself and most particularly Daisy) rather than his actual humble origins. When Tom challenges Gatsby on it and the "truth" comes out, we see that the story isn't completely wrong, but it's definitely embellished. (Of course, though, is Gatsby really a "fraud"? And is Tom really a "truth-seeker"? But that's going probably too deep for a comment in a comment section... lol)
We do tell ourselves stories. They might not reflect "truth" or "reality" in the way others might hope or expect. But that's okay; it's not their story. Tell the story *you* want to hear. That's probably where the deeper and more interesting truths are anyway.
Interesting, Tom - I suppose I'm coming at this from the opposite point of view, not a lot of personal mythology, so I'm telling stories to make a little sense out of the stars.
This is interesting, Tom, as I've never consciously investigated my own personal myth. You've given me something to think about. I do wonder though, if you're not giving yourself enough credit. Willful determination, which I believe you are in strong supply, has little to do with happenstance. I agree there's a lot of luck and environmental factors involved in our success, but many a failure came from perfect circumstances. You've accomplished much by your own hand.
What's interesting is that no matter the personal myth I embrace, I have a similar disposition. I'm not always determined, and my will can be weak, but when I commit, nobody will get in my way. I own my commitment and am personally responsible. The number of people who make excuses today and who believe they simply "deserve" something better by existence is outlandish. The balance of recognizing our shortcomings alongside our accomplishments should help reduce the mythical portions.
I appreciate you writing and sharing and offering up some vulnerability.
Anyone seeking to create a personal myth for public consumption needs to plan for posterity, and
dress self-consciously like a hero, and as you say: "those photos would have been in the myth piece …" but they actually make you look rather like any other capable and normal middle-class scrambler on a typical and blissful sunny day in the hills, I'm afraid! And nothing wrong with that at all - I lost too many of my heroes who took caving and mountaineering far too seriously.
I really enjoyed reading this. Thought provoking re the familial / personal myths. I did a Sapolsky rabbit hole quickly and have a presentation of his set up to watch. Interesting stuff, I am confused enough in a nice way about the cosmos and the meaning of it all.........maybe thats how I am meant to be............am i choosing.......mind altering stuff without a substance LOL. Thank you Tom.
The idea of a personal myth first entered my life in early recovery. The person that I thought I was had been sickened and hidden by what I chose to fuel myself with. It took me years to have any confidence that that woman was still there. It took me going back to feeling like a child in so many ways before I realized the impact that my story had on my life. Now, more than ever I believe in choice over happen stance in many things. I believe knowledge is the key to those choices. Yet it is most often by luck or devine design that an individual ends up with people in their lives who can help provide the spark to pursue that knowledge.
Thank you for writing, this was a pleasure to read. And your family history sounds really intriguing, I’m so glad that you had such an opportunity to learn about your family’s story! Thank you for sharing a a bit of it with us!
I enjoyed this post. Like anything else, we all have our own definitions of what a personal myth may be. For me, it's a narrative that accomplishes a few things. it places myself as the protagonist of the story, it creates a narrative out of the events of my life, and it helps to convince me that the decisions I've made were "for the best."
In testing my myth I concluded that there were embellishments and leaps of faith if not logic to all aspects of my myth, but in the end I actually incorporated the fact that i was willing to test my myth into my myth itself. That I was self-aware enough and strong enough to handle the truth that there were holes in my myth.
Thanks for making me think again about what I wrote and for sharing your perspective.
I'm not sure about Sapolsky. I have him on my list thanks to you, so I'll give him a swing. We're all subject to incessant social engineering, trapped by jobs and responsibilities and slaves to our pathologies and habits (by the way, I was reminded of the book, "The Power of Habit", as I read your essay), so even if one does believe in something as ethereal as free will, it does raise the question of how much free will one actually has. Perhaps just considering the question of whether there is such a thing as free will (and I'm not sure any of us even share the same definition for it) is a sign that we might be fortunate enough to be able to exercise it ... every now and then. Or maybe free will is an illusion and it's simply our gut bacteria calling the shots.
I've always thought we're very adept at rationalizing our past - whatever choice you make will end up being the "right" one for you because in hindsight, you'll construct the narrative positively. Not always and not everyone, but pretty close! It's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose? But it should come with a healthy dose of introspection.
This post is bringing so many things to mind! In my Evangelical days, I'd have said that much of life was predestined by God, that it was up to each of us to find the path God intended for us. I attributed much of my personal successes to following God, only to realize that instead of glory, my path was leading to suffering. Like you, later reflection made me question how much of my luck could be attributed to my good choices vs. privilege. Perhaps it's like those celebrities who believe in things like "The Secret" or the "Laws of Attraction" as a way to take credit for their lucky breaks.
I'm very curious to dive more into determinism. I've read a bit about brain injuries. It's amazing how often folks with memory loss repeat the same comments or conversation over and over--almost as if they were programmed to do so. But then again, I have a friend who underwent a procedure which gave her some short-term memory loss and now she hates a movie she used to love? Mysterious! As always, thanks for the ample food for thought.
I've read this piece twice now, and will read it again over the next few days. The first time I read it, I'd just got back from the pub in the early hours, and it resonated with me but I didn't know what I wanted to say in the comments.
The second time I read it, (right now), I'm sober, and noticed different parts of the narrative that I'd missed the first time, and it still resonates with me, and I still don't know yet what I want to say in the comments. Just that it's another thought-provoking piece you've put in front of me, and I'm all for it.
In reading this, I'm trying to understand what a personal myth is and what purpose it serves. It sounds like a collection of judgments (X happened because of Y), which I see as being sort-of a story, but not quite. It's an interesting exercise in figuring out your own beliefs about yourself, but I guess that's the point of doing it.
Also, despite the fact that everyone in that region says they go, "down the shore," I'm with you. I always said, "to the shore," too.
Nicely done, and how appropriate for this Easter morning. Myth building is a very strong trait for me, so I’m still trying to make better sense of Sapolsky’s obliteration of free will. In any case it appears your personal experiences and family history provide a firm basis for figuring out where you and you sit on the spectrum between Sapolsky’s view and unquestioning acceptance of free will. I wish you well.
I don’t understand why your old family farm was sold in 1903 due to a depression. I’m not aware of one at that time , and of course the Great Depression came after 1929.
So well told, Tom. Thank you for this and your honesty. I have no family history yet share your need to tell my "myth" and to figure out who I really am by writing. I think we all are as you say, "propelled along by choices and drives that I was scarcely conscious of owning,"
"We tell ourselves stories in order to live." That quote by Joan Didion has always resonated with me. But what I didn't realize until this moment is that she was probably saying, like you (or rather, what I believe you're saying), that these stories come in retrospect to explain away our actions. Pre-destined in hindsight. So much easier to build your origin myth around events that have already happened!
I think a large number of people would be shocked at how little free will they actually have. Many (most?) believe they have free will. And many (most?) can prove it by choosing the chocolate ice cream today instead of their usual strawberry, just out of spite. They don't really think that, hey, they're still eating ice cream, so they aren't truly thinking too far "outside of the box".
(For the record, I personally believe that we all have free will, but that we tend to make our choices out of laziness, convenience, and opportunity. If strawberry is my favourite flavour, why wouldn't I choose it? Should I choose pistaschio, even if I'm allergic to nuts, just to prove the universe wrong? Exercising your free will is about as easy as changing your personality or adjusting your lifestyle: theoretically possible, but in practicality, doesn't have a high chance of succeeding often.)
To follow your logic a step further: hearing someone's personal origin myth says more about that person in this moment than it does his or her actual origin. Fitzgerald uses that as a storytelling technique in "The Great Gatsby". Gatsby's war service, "Oxford man" status, and medal from Montenegro illustrate -- and contrast -- the myth he wants everyone to believe (including himself and most particularly Daisy) rather than his actual humble origins. When Tom challenges Gatsby on it and the "truth" comes out, we see that the story isn't completely wrong, but it's definitely embellished. (Of course, though, is Gatsby really a "fraud"? And is Tom really a "truth-seeker"? But that's going probably too deep for a comment in a comment section... lol)
We do tell ourselves stories. They might not reflect "truth" or "reality" in the way others might hope or expect. But that's okay; it's not their story. Tell the story *you* want to hear. That's probably where the deeper and more interesting truths are anyway.
Interesting, Tom - I suppose I'm coming at this from the opposite point of view, not a lot of personal mythology, so I'm telling stories to make a little sense out of the stars.
This is interesting, Tom, as I've never consciously investigated my own personal myth. You've given me something to think about. I do wonder though, if you're not giving yourself enough credit. Willful determination, which I believe you are in strong supply, has little to do with happenstance. I agree there's a lot of luck and environmental factors involved in our success, but many a failure came from perfect circumstances. You've accomplished much by your own hand.
What's interesting is that no matter the personal myth I embrace, I have a similar disposition. I'm not always determined, and my will can be weak, but when I commit, nobody will get in my way. I own my commitment and am personally responsible. The number of people who make excuses today and who believe they simply "deserve" something better by existence is outlandish. The balance of recognizing our shortcomings alongside our accomplishments should help reduce the mythical portions.
I appreciate you writing and sharing and offering up some vulnerability.
Anyone seeking to create a personal myth for public consumption needs to plan for posterity, and
dress self-consciously like a hero, and as you say: "those photos would have been in the myth piece …" but they actually make you look rather like any other capable and normal middle-class scrambler on a typical and blissful sunny day in the hills, I'm afraid! And nothing wrong with that at all - I lost too many of my heroes who took caving and mountaineering far too seriously.
I really enjoyed reading this. Thought provoking re the familial / personal myths. I did a Sapolsky rabbit hole quickly and have a presentation of his set up to watch. Interesting stuff, I am confused enough in a nice way about the cosmos and the meaning of it all.........maybe thats how I am meant to be............am i choosing.......mind altering stuff without a substance LOL. Thank you Tom.
The idea of a personal myth first entered my life in early recovery. The person that I thought I was had been sickened and hidden by what I chose to fuel myself with. It took me years to have any confidence that that woman was still there. It took me going back to feeling like a child in so many ways before I realized the impact that my story had on my life. Now, more than ever I believe in choice over happen stance in many things. I believe knowledge is the key to those choices. Yet it is most often by luck or devine design that an individual ends up with people in their lives who can help provide the spark to pursue that knowledge.
Thank you for writing, this was a pleasure to read. And your family history sounds really intriguing, I’m so glad that you had such an opportunity to learn about your family’s story! Thank you for sharing a a bit of it with us!
Tom,
I enjoyed this post. Like anything else, we all have our own definitions of what a personal myth may be. For me, it's a narrative that accomplishes a few things. it places myself as the protagonist of the story, it creates a narrative out of the events of my life, and it helps to convince me that the decisions I've made were "for the best."
In testing my myth I concluded that there were embellishments and leaps of faith if not logic to all aspects of my myth, but in the end I actually incorporated the fact that i was willing to test my myth into my myth itself. That I was self-aware enough and strong enough to handle the truth that there were holes in my myth.
Thanks for making me think again about what I wrote and for sharing your perspective.
I fear you have fallen into a trap that is impossible to avoid when crafting or tracing any personal myth, Nature vs Nurture.
Thanks, Tom!
Always thought provoking.
I'm not sure about Sapolsky. I have him on my list thanks to you, so I'll give him a swing. We're all subject to incessant social engineering, trapped by jobs and responsibilities and slaves to our pathologies and habits (by the way, I was reminded of the book, "The Power of Habit", as I read your essay), so even if one does believe in something as ethereal as free will, it does raise the question of how much free will one actually has. Perhaps just considering the question of whether there is such a thing as free will (and I'm not sure any of us even share the same definition for it) is a sign that we might be fortunate enough to be able to exercise it ... every now and then. Or maybe free will is an illusion and it's simply our gut bacteria calling the shots.
I've always thought we're very adept at rationalizing our past - whatever choice you make will end up being the "right" one for you because in hindsight, you'll construct the narrative positively. Not always and not everyone, but pretty close! It's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose? But it should come with a healthy dose of introspection.
This post is bringing so many things to mind! In my Evangelical days, I'd have said that much of life was predestined by God, that it was up to each of us to find the path God intended for us. I attributed much of my personal successes to following God, only to realize that instead of glory, my path was leading to suffering. Like you, later reflection made me question how much of my luck could be attributed to my good choices vs. privilege. Perhaps it's like those celebrities who believe in things like "The Secret" or the "Laws of Attraction" as a way to take credit for their lucky breaks.
I'm very curious to dive more into determinism. I've read a bit about brain injuries. It's amazing how often folks with memory loss repeat the same comments or conversation over and over--almost as if they were programmed to do so. But then again, I have a friend who underwent a procedure which gave her some short-term memory loss and now she hates a movie she used to love? Mysterious! As always, thanks for the ample food for thought.
I've read this piece twice now, and will read it again over the next few days. The first time I read it, I'd just got back from the pub in the early hours, and it resonated with me but I didn't know what I wanted to say in the comments.
The second time I read it, (right now), I'm sober, and noticed different parts of the narrative that I'd missed the first time, and it still resonates with me, and I still don't know yet what I want to say in the comments. Just that it's another thought-provoking piece you've put in front of me, and I'm all for it.
In reading this, I'm trying to understand what a personal myth is and what purpose it serves. It sounds like a collection of judgments (X happened because of Y), which I see as being sort-of a story, but not quite. It's an interesting exercise in figuring out your own beliefs about yourself, but I guess that's the point of doing it.
Also, despite the fact that everyone in that region says they go, "down the shore," I'm with you. I always said, "to the shore," too.
That is a great, honest post. Thanks for the link to Sapolsky.