I think you're living out retirement and your second half the best way anyone could. You're spending time with family you love, doing the activities you enjoy and taking some adventurous risks by climbing a few mountains! As for who will die first, that discussion is secondary to which of our children will be forced to take us in and let us live in their basement when they're making the big bucks. Reminding them of this possibility keeps them humble ;)
Glad you decided to show up today, Tom. Your family is lovely and you've inspired me to go outside more. And more again. Because my definition of more in this example isn't enough. 😂
Sara experience what is called a FOOSH, which I learned about when I had one: Fall On Outstretched Hand. I didn't break anything but took a long time to heal, and I still carry the X-ray of my wrist as the cover image on my phone. Another nice post, Tom.
Jan 15, 2023·edited Jan 15, 2023Liked by Tom Pendergast
First of all, best wishes to Sara for a speedy recovery.
Apt timing this post, as yesterday evening I watched my wife slip on a wet step, go flying up in the air and come down hard, breaking her fall with her hands. Fortunately she's not too hurt, but I feared for the worst, thought she was going to smash her back or head. Really horrible to see anybody fall like that, but when it's your wife it's especially moving.
I really like this post, Tom, it gets you thinking. Not to go into too much detail at the moment, but I'm currently going through something of the cliché midlife crisis. I turn 40 this year, and I know that to anyone who passed that particular milestone some time ago, they'll say "Don't be silly, you're still so young! etc" And I know I also had a bit of a crisis buliding up to my thirtieth, and now I look at 30-year-olds as kids. But there does seem to a big difference between turning 30 and turning 40, and that is when I turned 30, I went out on the Friday morning and didn't return home until Sunday evening, having not slept a wink, not even closed my eyes during that time, taking more drugs than I ever had (or ever have since) over one continuous session, went all over the city, passed through various different people's living rooms, and basically had the time of my life.
Whereas if I tried something like that at 40, I'd either end up on a drip in hospital, or curled up on a stranger's settee with a blanket over me, completely passed out (or dead). And I think it's that that saddens me. The realisation that our bodies are on the decline. For what it's worth, I'll probably be in bed around midnight on my 40th, unless my wife's got any surprise up her sleeve (she doesn't read Substack, so won't see this comment, so I can tell you in confidence that I wouldn't mind if she went behind my back and arranged with my small group of best mates some kind of reunion, as we all live in different countries now and haven't seen each other physically for years).
But yea sorry I've gone off point. I won't write too much more, because I've also been meaning to sit down and try to express my feelings on this into a post, but life at the moment is keeping me from getting anything done. I really like this post, it's a reminder to look back at all the good memories with fondness and appreciation, while stoically accepting that none of us are getting any younger. Really beautiful photos too, as always. If you see sometime soon that I've posted something similar, you know you inspired me to sit down and get it done.
Oh wow, Tom, great post. We've been thinking a lot about this kind of thing recently, prompted by some losses and illnesses of others. Scary sh*t. I wish Sara speedy healing of her wrist, and I wish all of you continuing adventures and enjoyment of the world out there. Such gorgeous pictures, especially that last one!
(BTW, there are some of us out there who haven't procreated but nevertheless have plenty of their own 'fatalistic bullshit', as you've put it, to mull over!)
Hope Sara gets well soon! Can't imagine it's fun, no matter how great the surgeon!
I had a harder time turning 20 than I did 50. Doesn't make much sense to me, but there you go. I am, however, starting to feel that "the third act is starting" and I still have a ton to do before the last curtain call. Life has a way up putting up some velvet ropes though, doesn't it? And my body is getting too old to hop them. (Mind you, it's my body that's too old -- not me... subtle but important distinction.)
Sounds great in a musical -- "Climb every mountain, ford every stream..." A lot harder to put into practice. Maybe being fatalistic might actually help -- if we've procreated and there's nothing left from a biological standpoint, then there's nothing left to lose, either. We're not sixteen going on seventeen anymore. Time to go for it!
"Working on a New Narrative" got me thinking about aging in a slightly different way. When you get to your sixties and seventies in great health and enjoying an active life, it's way to easy to start feeling smug when you see old classmates or friends your same age struggling with chronic illness and/or life-threatening conditions. Like your forever lovely and practical Sara, we have tried to live in such a way to get the most out of life, but the fact is that something is going to jump up and bite us at some point down the line. We are all going to die. The challenge is to recognize that truth by showing compassion for those doing less well health-wise or physically. Maybe you're already there, but I think for Chuck and me, it's hard to break out of our narrative about being fit, eating well, and defying the odds for health concerns.
On another note--I love the photos! I love seeing you bounding across the rugged landscape as if nothing has happened since I knew you and Sara at Purdue!
An excellent, excellent post - thanks. Aging and mortality and all things related occupy a good bit of my thoughts and it's always good to hear how others think. Our cultural worship of youth doesn't help when your knees pop as you walk down stairs, your back aches after standing in front of the stove, or you find yourself nodding off during a movie because the sofa is just too damn comfortable. If you're not careful, you'll start feeling like you're doing something wrong - like you're aging incorrectly - but actually, the knees pop because you did a serious walk with the dogs, the back aches because you spent four hours in the garden trying to sort things before the next freeze, and the sofa is just, well, warm and comfortable. It's all perspective - I'm still 20 in my mind. Just wish my body had that perspective, too!
Oh no! I wondered why she was trying to draw with her other hand. I thought she was just a super woman and trying to challenge herself. She is still a super woman, but with a bionic wrist. Wish her a speedy recovery.
Please tell Sara I hope she recovers soon! I know this pain (broke my wrist falling off a donkey - don’t ask - on the 4th of July when I was 3). I still feel it when the weather is just so and people occasionally comment when we shake hands.
We also talk about the aging process a lot. Doug is a former ski patrolman and white water rafting guide and most of his colleagues had hip replacements in their 50s. We had to stop hiking for a year after he twisted his knee trying to take a photo of a wildflower in some scree in Glacier. I got tennis elbow from too much badminton last year. Sometimes we roll over in bed and injure ourselves. It seems to be a never ending process of activity and recovery. I think the point is just to keep going somehow (and try not to spend too much time and money on pt). Anyway, our best to Sara and thank you for sharing. You have a beautiful family and those were great photos!
My husband and I have been joking more lately about the symptoms of aging - shovelling dense wet slush after two days of freezing rain was a good reminder of our joints’ limits. Living three years through a pandemic and watching the kids start university heightens it more. But that just fuels us more to do things, stay active, like you folks. I hope Sara feels better soon 💜
Wow, something to aspire to - NOT the broken arm but the life of adventure, though I guess you can't have one without the other. Truly amazing photographs, Tom. Inspiring.
Aging isn't a battle, it's a slaughter. But you still gotta go down fighting.
I think you're living out retirement and your second half the best way anyone could. You're spending time with family you love, doing the activities you enjoy and taking some adventurous risks by climbing a few mountains! As for who will die first, that discussion is secondary to which of our children will be forced to take us in and let us live in their basement when they're making the big bucks. Reminding them of this possibility keeps them humble ;)
Glad you decided to show up today, Tom. Your family is lovely and you've inspired me to go outside more. And more again. Because my definition of more in this example isn't enough. 😂
Sara experience what is called a FOOSH, which I learned about when I had one: Fall On Outstretched Hand. I didn't break anything but took a long time to heal, and I still carry the X-ray of my wrist as the cover image on my phone. Another nice post, Tom.
First of all, best wishes to Sara for a speedy recovery.
Apt timing this post, as yesterday evening I watched my wife slip on a wet step, go flying up in the air and come down hard, breaking her fall with her hands. Fortunately she's not too hurt, but I feared for the worst, thought she was going to smash her back or head. Really horrible to see anybody fall like that, but when it's your wife it's especially moving.
I really like this post, Tom, it gets you thinking. Not to go into too much detail at the moment, but I'm currently going through something of the cliché midlife crisis. I turn 40 this year, and I know that to anyone who passed that particular milestone some time ago, they'll say "Don't be silly, you're still so young! etc" And I know I also had a bit of a crisis buliding up to my thirtieth, and now I look at 30-year-olds as kids. But there does seem to a big difference between turning 30 and turning 40, and that is when I turned 30, I went out on the Friday morning and didn't return home until Sunday evening, having not slept a wink, not even closed my eyes during that time, taking more drugs than I ever had (or ever have since) over one continuous session, went all over the city, passed through various different people's living rooms, and basically had the time of my life.
Whereas if I tried something like that at 40, I'd either end up on a drip in hospital, or curled up on a stranger's settee with a blanket over me, completely passed out (or dead). And I think it's that that saddens me. The realisation that our bodies are on the decline. For what it's worth, I'll probably be in bed around midnight on my 40th, unless my wife's got any surprise up her sleeve (she doesn't read Substack, so won't see this comment, so I can tell you in confidence that I wouldn't mind if she went behind my back and arranged with my small group of best mates some kind of reunion, as we all live in different countries now and haven't seen each other physically for years).
But yea sorry I've gone off point. I won't write too much more, because I've also been meaning to sit down and try to express my feelings on this into a post, but life at the moment is keeping me from getting anything done. I really like this post, it's a reminder to look back at all the good memories with fondness and appreciation, while stoically accepting that none of us are getting any younger. Really beautiful photos too, as always. If you see sometime soon that I've posted something similar, you know you inspired me to sit down and get it done.
Oh wow, Tom, great post. We've been thinking a lot about this kind of thing recently, prompted by some losses and illnesses of others. Scary sh*t. I wish Sara speedy healing of her wrist, and I wish all of you continuing adventures and enjoyment of the world out there. Such gorgeous pictures, especially that last one!
(BTW, there are some of us out there who haven't procreated but nevertheless have plenty of their own 'fatalistic bullshit', as you've put it, to mull over!)
Hope Sara gets well soon! Can't imagine it's fun, no matter how great the surgeon!
I had a harder time turning 20 than I did 50. Doesn't make much sense to me, but there you go. I am, however, starting to feel that "the third act is starting" and I still have a ton to do before the last curtain call. Life has a way up putting up some velvet ropes though, doesn't it? And my body is getting too old to hop them. (Mind you, it's my body that's too old -- not me... subtle but important distinction.)
Sounds great in a musical -- "Climb every mountain, ford every stream..." A lot harder to put into practice. Maybe being fatalistic might actually help -- if we've procreated and there's nothing left from a biological standpoint, then there's nothing left to lose, either. We're not sixteen going on seventeen anymore. Time to go for it!
~Graham
"Working on a New Narrative" got me thinking about aging in a slightly different way. When you get to your sixties and seventies in great health and enjoying an active life, it's way to easy to start feeling smug when you see old classmates or friends your same age struggling with chronic illness and/or life-threatening conditions. Like your forever lovely and practical Sara, we have tried to live in such a way to get the most out of life, but the fact is that something is going to jump up and bite us at some point down the line. We are all going to die. The challenge is to recognize that truth by showing compassion for those doing less well health-wise or physically. Maybe you're already there, but I think for Chuck and me, it's hard to break out of our narrative about being fit, eating well, and defying the odds for health concerns.
On another note--I love the photos! I love seeing you bounding across the rugged landscape as if nothing has happened since I knew you and Sara at Purdue!
I'm glad to hear that Sara is on the road to recovery. I hope it wasn't her painting wrist!
An excellent, excellent post - thanks. Aging and mortality and all things related occupy a good bit of my thoughts and it's always good to hear how others think. Our cultural worship of youth doesn't help when your knees pop as you walk down stairs, your back aches after standing in front of the stove, or you find yourself nodding off during a movie because the sofa is just too damn comfortable. If you're not careful, you'll start feeling like you're doing something wrong - like you're aging incorrectly - but actually, the knees pop because you did a serious walk with the dogs, the back aches because you spent four hours in the garden trying to sort things before the next freeze, and the sofa is just, well, warm and comfortable. It's all perspective - I'm still 20 in my mind. Just wish my body had that perspective, too!
Oh no! I wondered why she was trying to draw with her other hand. I thought she was just a super woman and trying to challenge herself. She is still a super woman, but with a bionic wrist. Wish her a speedy recovery.
Please tell Sara I hope she recovers soon! I know this pain (broke my wrist falling off a donkey - don’t ask - on the 4th of July when I was 3). I still feel it when the weather is just so and people occasionally comment when we shake hands.
We also talk about the aging process a lot. Doug is a former ski patrolman and white water rafting guide and most of his colleagues had hip replacements in their 50s. We had to stop hiking for a year after he twisted his knee trying to take a photo of a wildflower in some scree in Glacier. I got tennis elbow from too much badminton last year. Sometimes we roll over in bed and injure ourselves. It seems to be a never ending process of activity and recovery. I think the point is just to keep going somehow (and try not to spend too much time and money on pt). Anyway, our best to Sara and thank you for sharing. You have a beautiful family and those were great photos!
Shit happens in life. Sending positive vibes for a speedy recovery.
My husband and I have been joking more lately about the symptoms of aging - shovelling dense wet slush after two days of freezing rain was a good reminder of our joints’ limits. Living three years through a pandemic and watching the kids start university heightens it more. But that just fuels us more to do things, stay active, like you folks. I hope Sara feels better soon 💜
Wow, something to aspire to - NOT the broken arm but the life of adventure, though I guess you can't have one without the other. Truly amazing photographs, Tom. Inspiring.