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Caryn's avatar

I loved your reality check and thoughtfulness here. It felt so holistically considered and emotionally intelligent - thank you

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Caryn's avatar

I loved your reality check and thoughtful approach in this piece. It felt so holistically considered and emotionally intelligent - thank you!

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Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. yes ! ‘memoir stylings’ is what I’ve called such Memoir Writing & there’s several examples hiding in plain sight within my salamandry site.. & there may be Two Categories now that I think of it !

‘pauly wally and the doodle’ is my ‘more classic form or ‘category - styling

but another ‘category is in part ‘hybrid or hyper’ - ie photo essay or ‘image essay.. styling

‘Both styles are written in ‘the same ‘rough & ready Voicing’ however - but I’ve added ‘supporting imagery or informative information - with a sense of humour - as a hypermedia artist this inclination comes naturally to me..

There is a Third Styling ‘approach I’ve attempted to ‘popularize among ‘substack writers but ‘lack of visibility combined with lack of ‘actual Reading Interest’ among most ‘writers here seems to have doomed the Specific Topicality I proposed ever since I arrived here haha !

‘The Nine Lives’ Styling started as a joke between my son Dylan & I - telling him to not expect much ‘Luck of The Irish.. and that I’d already used up my ‘Nine Live a la El Gato & had none to share ! It slowly became The 18 Lives.. as I continued to sketch out the details & update the doc - yes I’m up around 17 Lives or so ! The very first being buried alive - under a granite Cross Of Jesus.. in a Cemetery

The ‘Rules re the proposed ‘Substack Memoir Topic were this !

The ‘memoir must be a True Personal Story - ideally 5 Minute Read or less

or - you heard it direct from the trusted Horse’s Mouth yourself !

It must be about absolute Blind Luck & Why & How the ‘writer Did Not Die !

This stemmed from a pal & I laughing about early days at Whistler when there was just a Husky Station & we’d both heard ‘legendary tales about ‘skiing out of bounds’ & as a big mountain cruiser knew some real insane shit from Lake Louise, Vail.. etc - So this was typical ‘yarning in chalets or cottages or fireside - ‘almost drowned is a common example ‘but someone rescued me.. ! But GOTTA be Zero Personal Intervention or ‘fortunately I stopped in time !

It’s OK if you immediately recognize what a ‘close call’ - but realistically You Should Be Dead !

https://thomasdarcyodonnell.substack.com/p/pauly-wally-and-the-doodle

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

All of these sound like stuff i would want to read!

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Christopher Cosma's avatar

Maybe one about a car racing a freight train? ; )

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Bryan Padrick's avatar

Completely agree - I'm tired of self-help wrapped up in sentimentality wrapped up as 'memoir'. Ugh. And there's a LOT of that out here on Substack since I first started reading. But, I guess it suits some ....

I've enjoyed Carver (and really liked your article!), but am partial to Barry Hannah and - when in the right frame of mind - Harry Crews. Brutal.

And as for your English Department Head - I find it amazing how people who have a position in which they could move younger minds into a myriad of cool directions are so often just, well, intellectual dicks. One of my first jobs was in the Humanities Department at a small private liberal arts college in NC. One day during my weekly office hours (a time at which no one visited) I was reading the newly-published Infinite Jest. My Department Head stuck his head in to say hi and inquired about the book. I started to ramble about it and he cut me off, saying 'he sounds pretentious.' Any respect I had for that guy left with him as he walked off.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Good to hear from you Bryan, and I have to tell you, now that we’ve agreed we dislike stuffy old farts, that I absolutely HATED that movie “The Holiday.” Turned it off with 20 minutes to go. Maybe I’m a stuffy old fart too!

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Bryan Padrick's avatar

It’s very saccharine and I don’t for a moment buy the Jack Black/Kate Winslet relationship, but the house Jude Law’s character lives in is stunning and we used to live near the village of Godalming where it was filmed, so it feels kind of local?! It’s an odd feeling - and wholly out of character - that I actually don’t mind it! I’m now sitting with an embarrassed look, asking you to please not judge! 🤦‍♂️

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Oh yeah, Jack Black was awful, Cameron Diaz was just silly, but this is in character for both of them. Kate Winslet knows better and you’re right, Jude Law at least didn’t embarrass himself. But I don’t hold it against you Bryan. Truth is, I’m ferociously critical of movies in general, more so than any other media.

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Katharine Strange's avatar

The cringe does tend to come to the forefront in a lot of personal storytelling. The Moth has a saying, "write from the scar, not the wound," which, hopefully lends to reflection and learning rather than self-pity

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

I like that saying; I’ll add it to my repertoire. It’s funny that when I first read it I thought it came from your mother (not the moth).

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Trevor Casper's avatar

If you're a fan of Raymond Carver, check out this essay by a Saskatchewan writer named David Carpenter, where he recounts the time he invited Richard Ford and Raymond Carver to read at the University of Saskatchewan. He arranged a goose hunt for his two American guests in exchange for a low fee. It becomes an adventure. https://dccarpenter.com/carver.html

And, if you're so inclined, here is my own essay about how I met Richard Ford at my uncle's farm in southwest Saskatchewan. https://open.substack.com/pub/trevorcasper/p/connections?r=1qevah&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Now that’s my kind of comment! Thanks for giving me some cool stuff to read; I’ll check ‘em both out.

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Yi Xue's avatar

I love reading memoirs—book-length, essay collections, auto-fiction—in all formats. What I don't like to read would be self-pity, anger and rage (some of it is fine; it sort of gets you fired up, but no, not too much of it), and a single-angled perspective (is that oxymoron for memoirs?).

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

I agree, and your sandwich story was perfect

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Yi Xue's avatar

Thanks, Tom. BTW, I had to fix an error (I'd hate to think the disabled comment feature was due to a new Substack default behavior) and commenting is now enabled.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

I saw that and almost wrote myself! I've seen it happen with others due, hopefully it doesn't persist. I'll go comment there ...

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Sheila Carroll's avatar

Cringeworthy is a good word for what you describe. Thank you.

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Amy Yuki Vickers's avatar

That's funny. I've been working on a memoir in years, and the parts where I'd originally written about my thoughts and feelings just weren't work working, so I deleted them. Over time, I sparingly added a few back in, but almost none in the first 50 pages or so. I sent those first 50 pages to my writer's group, and they slammed it so hard for not having any thoughts and feelings in it.

I'm not against thoughts and feelings in a memoir. I'm not against confessional. I'm not against writing a memoir as nothing but a series of events, either. I don't think those things determine whether something is well-written or not. However, I do think that there are some expectations when one is reading a woman's memoir versus a man's memoir.

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Jen Zug's avatar

Ah, yes. The personal essay vs literary nonfiction. I had not heard of this distinction until I started writing my book and attending more writing events. It makes sense—different styles and different audiences, different paths into publishing. I fall into the scrappy, self-taught category, obviously. 😂

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Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

How about personal essays with a wink on wry? ;) Thanks again for the Raymond Carver article, and thanks for the mention, Tom!

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Andrew Sniderman 🕷️'s avatar

Lots of Substack as Therapy (SaT!) going on. Good to name it; I’m managing to filter out most.

The concept of a memoir was completely foreign to me until I started dabbling here and only recently realized most of what I’m writing would fit the bill. This old guy (80s) I work with mentioned this was the year he was working on his memoir and it made me realize what it is. He’s a holocaust survivor (the last 1st gen alive in our group) and has stories to tell.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Oh, Substack as Therapy, I like that. Hell, I do it do I suppose, though I say that I write to figure out what I’m thinking. I’m just awfully suspicious (and sometimes disdainful) of self-pity. But there’s a lot of good stuff out there too, and Substack seems to allow a bunch of us to play with genre constraints.

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Joe Mahoney's avatar

Thanks for the review and mention, Tom. Really appreciate it! Glad you liked the book.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

You’re welcome, and I’m glad to have run into a different style of memoir writing: very refreshing indeed.

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Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

I like the Murakami reference in the title!

Books are a great catalyst for talking about the world, agree. Thanks for the mention, Tom.

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Richard - Out Walking's avatar

Too many cringeworthy essays ... indeed so. Thanks for stepping forward and saying it.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

WAY too many!

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